LESSON FROM HUNDRED ACRE WOOD
Copyright 2004 by . All rights reserved.LESSON FROM HUNDRED ACRE WOOD-- Or, wabbit hunting is for wimps --Some say that the world is being overrun by far too many rabbits -- Oswald the Rabbit, Roger the Rabbit, Bugs Bunny not to mention all manner of wretched little Easter Bunnies. If that's so, then "wabbit hunting" is sure to become a growth opportunity for outfitters, guides, and taxidermists or for those catering to the Saturday morning cartoon-rerun crowd.On the other hand, some suggest that it requires neither courage nor skill to outwit a bouncy, four-legged, floppy-eared thing with a twitchy pink nose. They hold the popular view that the only reason these critters exist is to keep wimpy warriors safe if not sound and give the wicked wenches something to cook besides tasteless toads.Those with the "right stuff" know that the "real action" in life comes from slaying dragons, mashing monsters or trouncing trolls. For a change of pace, there's always the chance of saving the odd damsel-in-distress or two, just to keep a fellow feeling needed on his day off.As fate would have it however, "real men" have done such a bang up job of eradicating the big brutes over the past few centuries, there's precious little to tick off on their "to do" lists.
No more tales to impress long-lost lovers. No more battering rams to strike fear into the hearts of those wanting to grab a guy's favorite parking spot.Diversions such as a daring game of snakes and ladders, extreme-tiddlywinks and no-holds-barred croquet simply won't cut it any longer. And, with no dragons, monsters or trolls around to hunt, clearly something had to be done before the fickle finger of fate intervened. The possibility that the woosies, or heaven forbid the thought that the wenches might take over and -- put an end to hunting, close the pleasure palaces, not to mention declare peace in the Garden of Eden -- obviously did not sit too well with the macho-merengue types. This scenario was not an option! So, there wasn't a moment to lose if a hunky dory outcome was to be engineered! That's why "The Academy of Arcane Stuff & Tricky Things" stepped in to offer a silver-tongued solution to this perplexing problem.
Needless to say, after much consolation, consultation, and a few stiff drinks...the ivory-tower icons got together with several baron-of-beef business buddies and a couple of pleased-as-punch politicians who all agreed on one thing -- the need for a plan. This was a tall order however since the gurus had only ever prepared "pomp and circumstance" pieces of piffle. Would they be able to produce anything but the usual five-inch-thick, two-volume, color-coordinated, bound-set of embossed tomes typically found languishing on bookshelves propping up the dust bunnies? This time, a miracle was in order. Nothing less than a "Master-Plan" with a "pithy purpose, pliable priorities, and oodles of prizes" would do thank you. So, after forty days of paripatectic pondering in the seclusion of the "Hundred Acre Wood", (including 960 hours of going around in little circles, and 39 nights of counting sheep), they came up with a ground-breaking, politically-incorrect 'man-power' strategy (affectionately known as "PLAN-B").
Although the stupendous plan was woefully short on details, at least the election of an awe-inspiring 'Grand Pooh-Bah of Everything Important in the Universe' was hailed as a neat way to boost the flagging morale of the lads. On second thought, it might also have had something to do with giving the bureaucrats plenty of time to sharpen their pencils, or just an excuse to haggle over the best bang-for-the-buck on how to save the world from the scourge of wimps and wusses.If the devil is in the details, then they surely must have been lost forever in the small print of all this blessed bumpf. And for those who missed out on the "Grand Thoughts About Nothing Summit of Great Minds", there's still time to sign up for courses like "Where to Find the Best Haycorns", "Useful Pots to Keep Things In", and "Knowledge Management for Bears of Very Little Brain". After all, who in their right mind could refuse a mispelled engraved invitation to a seminar on "Hunny-Making Tips", a CD sampler of "Popular Hip-Hop Hums" not to mention a "smackeral of something" around 11 o'clock, plus a client feedback form covered with those ubiquitous smiley faces, and an autographed personal copy of "PLAN-B"?No doubt prozac-popping Poohs, materialistically-challenged Rabbits, anxiety-disordered Piglets, donky-depressive Eeyores, hyper-active Tiggers, brilliant but dyslexic Owls, single-parenting Kangas with at-risk Roos and detached-personality Christopher Robins will find these amusing activities just a tad taxing on their simple cerebellums. By the way, play-with-your-food fanatics, petting zoo herbivores, and wee wabbit workers should definitely consider a career change.
According to PLAN B, "Our mighty man-power strategy guarantees a marvellous, bright, new future for MANkind, especially those who pursue a challenging eco-adventure career in the emerging field of heffalump and woozle hunting." ...Oh won't that be fun tiddley pom! ...Another gold star tiddley pom. ...Ho hum tiddley pom.LESSON FROM HUNDRED ACRE WOOD: If one whistles long enough while digging a Deep Pit to trap a heffalump or one wanders aimlessly in the wilderness with a pot of honey to catch a woozle, one's definition of these elusive critters will vary with the weather, one's appetite, and the volatility of the Animal Kingdom Happiness Index (AKHI)..
Ladders
A ladder is a collective set of steps, linked vertically via two horizontal rods. These steps are called rungs and the rods supporting them are called stiles. A ladder is commonly used for climbing at home or at work. There are two types of ladders -- rigid or hard material ladders and rope ladders. Rigid ladders are generally portable, but are sometimes fixed permanently to buildings or structures.
Ladders come in variety of styles and heights. They can either be rented or purchased. Styles include stool, foldable and single length ladders. Each ladder has a defined weight that it can support and come in a choice of materials like aluminum, fiberglass, steel, wood and iron. Fiberglass ladders are the strongest and most durable.
Although a bit heavier than aluminum, they do not present any risk while doing electrical work.
Rigid ladders serve a lot of purposes. They are used for attics, pools, docks, libraries, shops, etc. They are available...
Ladders > Ladders
HOW D' YA LIKE THEM APPLES?
HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES? -- Or, things you might have said to Eve had she tricked you into eating the apple --Copyright by
2004. All rights reserved.There are a few things that you might be tempted to say, if you had the chance, (especially if you're a fly on a wall in the proverbial "Garden of Eden").Speaking of flies, here are some choice lines you wish Adam might have told Eve before chomping into that fateful apple on what appears to have been another perfectly twee day in paradise.-- I don't do "bobbing for apples"!-- Let's share the guilt.-- You know I hate "Little green apples in the summertime", so play something else!-- Before we get down to business -- when was your last dental check-up?-- Not now, I'm busy killing the bugs, worms, and Trojan Horses in my frigging PC.-- I can't imagine why you think I'd want to read your new diet book, "How to Be Happy on 500 Calories or Less a Day ? Lessons From A Tart With A Heart".-- If eating an apple a day keeps the doctor...
Ladders > HOW D' YA LIKE THEM APPLES?
Play time: Fun time, learning time, bonding time!
Copyright 2006 Living Your Best Life
I'm sure you've experience this parenting dilemma. The sun is shining and it's a beautiful, hot day. Your daughter or son is begging you to take him or her to the park but there is a pile of washing in the laundry basket, a stack of dishes in the sink and countless other chores. On the one hand you want to spend quality time with your child but on the other hand the housework has to be tackled. What is a parent to do after all play is just play or is it? In this article I will explain, that children learn through play, different types of play and their value, how play helps the development of a person from babies into adulthood and finally, how playing with your child is an opportunity for bonding, learning and fun.
What do children learn through play?
Why is play vital and why should it be encouraged? Children it is the main way that children learn, in fact for children play is work.
Play helps children...
Play time: Fun time, learning time, bonding time!
Ladders > Play time: Fun time, learning time, bonding time!
Boat Docks
If a person has waterfront property, "boat docks" are a great addition.
A boat dock, available in varying sizes and shapes, is a place to moor a boat and provides easy leisure access for swimming and fishing. There are aluminum docks, steel docks, floating docks and post docks. These classifications depend on materials and style that are used to build the docks. All are designed to offer the best that one could possibly expect in a wet and dry storage facility.
Many accessories, which make it fun and functional, can be seen alongside a dock. Among the accessories are benches, boarding ramps, bumpers, cleats, boat lifts, deep water braces, dock boxes, flagpole holders, handrails, swing and straight ladders, light brackets, shore end wheel kits and storage sheds.
There are a variety of choices in residential lake dock and commercial dock systems. The residential dock is built to fit the location and recreational needs of a customer. Private or...
Ladders > Boat Docks
Ladders
A ladder is a collective set of steps, linked vertically via two horizontal rods. These steps are called rungs and the rods supporting them are called stiles. A ladder is commonly used for climbing at home or at work. There are two types of ladders -- rigid or hard material ladders and rope ladders. Rigid ladders are generally portable, but are sometimes fixed permanently to buildings or structures.
Ladders come in variety of styles and heights. They can either be rented or purchased. Styles include stool, foldable and single length ladders. Each ladder has a defined weight that it can support and come in a choice of materials like aluminum, fiberglass, steel, wood and iron. Fiberglass ladders are the strongest and most durable.
Although a bit heavier than aluminum, they do not present any risk while doing electrical work.
Rigid ladders serve a lot of purposes. They are used for attics, pools, docks, libraries, shops, etc. They are available...
Ladders > Ladders
The Fisherman Sweater
The Fisherman Sweater Fisherman sweaters used to be something that were seen as items of warm and rugged work wear, but much as changed, and fisherman sweaters have followed jeans to make that transformation from work wear to a 20th century fashionable clothing item.Fisherman Sweater HistoryRooted in our common heritage, commercial fishermen, weekend sailors, farmers and in fact people from all walks of life love the fisherman sweater. At sea, and in town, it is a symbol of simpler times when you could look good in something that was designed just to be practical and keep you warm, not to show off a label in order to be some kind of status symbol like many garments manufactured today.The fisherman sweater has its origins in Brittany. Surprisingly it was not the fishermen that started to wear them, but merchants who during the 18th century travelled to England to sell onions, these merchants wore an item of knitted wool clothing that made them recognizable from a distance, the garments...
The Fisherman Sweater
Ladders > The Fisherman Sweater
The Art Of Gutter Cleaning
Many homeowners clean their own gutters or hire someone each season to properly maintain their homes. What you may not realize is that most gutter systems should be cleaned 3-4 times a year with each season. You may be wondering why should I clean out my gutters so often? The reason is each season trees go through various cycles that can clog up your gutters. In spring, most trees drop seedlings and dead twigs. Spring is also the best time to inspect your gutters for any damages that may have occurred during the winter snow.
In summer, trees lose leaves from heavy storms and high winds. In early fall, you should remove leaves that have fallen early to keep your gutters flowing freely. At the end of fall or early winter, you want to make sure everything has been properly cleared from the gutter system to help prevent ice dams or buildup of ice in your gutters. The extra weight of frozen water in your gutters can easily cause them to pull away from the fascia and in many cases,...
The Art Of Gutter Cleaning
Ladders > The Art Of Gutter Cleaning
Ladders
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